Sometimes when faced with a serious illnes one wonders about the subject of death, some find it an unpleasant topic. For me it is a thought that is constantly with me but it also has been an opportunity to take inventory, to look at myself in the mirror and reflect on wether I am comfortable with the person staring back at me.
Do I trully love her? Did I make a difference, did I spread light? Did I leave the world a better place? Did I teach my son the right lessons, Did I leave him enough values to guide him through life and did I leave him a wonderful legacy to pass on to his children?
Did I give enough love? Did I recieve enough love in return?
When people think of me will a smile tickle their face? Did I complete my Transformation and fully understand the importance of my Life's Journey? Did I stop to smell the roses along my path?
I hope that when people look back at what was my life they remember someone who was true to herself, a compassionate friend, someone who lived life to the fullest and smiled in spite of the difficulties. It is my hope that when I leave this world I have at least touched another human being and left it a better place.
There are so many little things that I hold dear to my heart but the most important things are Love of Family, Friends the memory of my Mother, my Son's laughter, Carlos smile and the knowledge that I had the ability to open up a heart, that I loved and was loved in return.
If allowed to keep something from this lifetime it would be the remembrances of these few things, for it is the simple small things that really fullfill our hearts and in the end really matter.
Photographs Courtesy of Carlos I. Fernandez
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